Once upon a time, there was the story you told. It began at the beginning. The middle was where all the details and action happened. It took as long to tell as it took. It then ended at the end. And, they all lived happily ever after. It was called the narrative style.

These days, 140 characters needs to say what your whole message used to say. Few people seem to have the time or often don’t have the patience to listen to you communicate in the narrative style anymore.

We now live in a headline or sound bite culture now. Tweets and texts are how we talk. With the saturation of data and ideas, your status update better strike an emotion on someone when you communicate.  This for many is an uncomfortable change  in how we communicate.

The other tool too many others are uncomfortable with is straight from Journalism 101 class. Stories and details are more frequently now told in an inverted pyramid style. Give us the strongest point and most meaningful meat first with a crisp, laser focus, then support this with the next strongest point and go down the ladder as you are putting in the details.  For many, this idea means you may just have to change how you think and organize your ideas when you professionally communicate.

If this has you concerned that you missed a memo, don’t be. We were all were taught to read and write first in the narrative style. From your early story books about fetching a pail of water to the latest episode of your favorite TV show where they used space age technology to find out who did it, narrative isn’t going anywhere, but you need to master how and when you use this headlines and inverted pyramid style to be a successful communicator in this age.

Please, I didn’t say this change is right, wrong, good or bad. Sure, you can continue to write, speak and present in narrative style. It may be more enjoyable, may make for a more dramatic presentation and may feel more comfortable for many who present, speak, read and write this way. But, in the minds and hearts of all of us … an audience is being wooed constantly by the other way. Someone is getting to the point quickly and telling them the key points in a way that is more in tune with the information rich culture in which we are swimming.

I suggest you try the headline and inverted pyramid method in daily communication; especially if you are uncomfortable using it. The narrative style is never going to go totally away, especially when you have people with whom you can open up and let the stories flow freely. When you are in those situations, they actually deserve a good tale told well. If you do so, we’ll all live happily ever after.

DL

Let me share with you my “resolution” … “goal” … “objective” in an attempt to declare it to the universe and ask your support with this. This year, I am working On THE THREE O’S in 2010 - Organized, Orderly and On Purpose.

In part, this was motivated by Adam Helfman’s blog, Helfy’s Essay for 2010 “COURAGE and LIBERATION.” In it, Adam writes about what his decision to stop using hair pieces and admit that he has Alopecia, an autoimmune disease where one’s body rejects it’s own hair. Facebook subscribers, if you are signed in, can read more by clicking here. I invite you to please read his essay, but only after you finish this one.

The last several weeks of 2009 have had me looking very deeply inside. I asked myself, if it was up to me to fix what’s been wrong in my life … what is it and what do I, MYSELF need to do to make myself happy. I cam to a conclusion that the three areas that would bring me my bliss is to have my life organized in a way that makes sense to me, have in place systems and procedures that support that order and do the activities that put me on purpose with that which I want do be, do, have and achieve. My ultimate goals: improved self-management while achieving personally significant goals.

So, I meditated on these things … and saw that these were three ideas I could capture by using the letter O. I also saw that since this year also ended in a zero, there seems a certain harmony and alliteration to put the two ideas together.

So, if you have read this far … you are now a member of my support team. I am asking from you both gentle and supportive help. I assure you that human nature being what it is … I will slip up, not do what I need to do, and need a kick or a hug those around me in order to keep motivated. I also want to say that those three areas are also personal for all of us. If you use a Franklin Planner, but I choose to keep my appointments on line … I want you to remember that its about the idea and not the methodology.

So, I lay my new years resolution … my goal …. my life changing objective out here for everyone who interacts with me to see. I will post status reports on the Three O’s, but feel free to ask me. My affirmation is “I am achieving THE THREE O’S in 2010 - I am Organized, Orderly and On Purpose.”

Many of you know me to be passionate about certain things quirky things that make me … well … Dean. One of them is my support of the Apple Macintosh over the years. So, it may surprise you to know I’m typing this on my new HP Netbook.

I am a huge supporter of the Apple platform. I believe in their innovation, business model based on smart sleek products that work well and love the simplicity of their interface and Operating System. My family has owned 11 Mac products over the years. But a supporter and a patron of mine handed me $200, steered me to MicroCenter and said “you need something portable - I’ve seen your business constrict because of it. Go get this to get you back over the hump.” So, last monday I bought the HP Netbook which he pointed out to me.

I still believe the core of how an Apple works to be a superior product. In the week since I’ve owned this, I have had to download 35 files, patches and separate updates.  I have AVG fighting with Norton who will keep me free of every virus short on H1N1. I have waited through what seems like a long boot up to get to my log in. Yet, it is very likable and is doing the job it’s promised to do.

For the record, I have said in the past that Mac’s are not all paradise either. I have an eMac that keeps limping along, after having the screen shorts in and out on me. Since it is an all in one unit (Monitor, CPU, Etc.), I can’t just upgrade the monitor without having a boat anchor at my feet. I have seen four iBooks meet their makers because of a known defect, which Apple only would support for so long. I know that a new version of a MacBook, even the most affordable one’s, are priced more like a mortgage payment. I look at this like knowing a friends faults, and still loving them anyways.

I like that this HP has Windows XP, even though I also know that  Microsoft will gladly update me to System 7, so long as I scrape every last bit of XP off this thing. I worked on Vista over at The Money FInders, and found it to be a chore. I read the book The HP Way about 10 years ago and have also been a fan of them. I use their printers almost exclusively. So, this wasn’t a big hoop through which to jump.

I will miss the Apple store customer service experience should something go wrong, which is why I would never buy a Dell. My idea of great corporate customer service isn’t a toll free number, a corrigated box and strapping tape. Of course, I can now use PC Pit Stop, which is my answer to a quality PC customer service solution.

With Google doc’s across all my computers, I will be using that to write and do spreadsheets. I find myself thankful I don’t need to buy another copy of MS Office as a piece of software.  I will miss the CD/DVD drive, since netbooks are more surfing tools.  I was in Costco sunday looking at storage solutions. I don’t think I will need a Terrabite and a Half, but for $130 … it’s always nice to know I can now own more gross storage then the 11 Apple and 3 PC’s I’ve owned.

But the bottom line is that like a car, this is a tool to get me from here to there. In my case, get me the ability to be productive and not chained to a desktop.  But like with my late model Volvo and Grand Caravan’s, I appreciate the chance to have a lot of something, rather then a whole lot of nothing. The first two times out in public, the people sitting next to me had new MacBooks, including the black one which I really, really want.  Darling daughter L.J. still wants a MacBook, and we have our attennae up for one of those … slightly experienced, but not abused.

I haven’t sold out. I recognize the value of a tool as an agent to get me where I want to go.  I am grateful and thankful to be able to communicate from a coffee shop, a spare room or the kitchen table in my own terms.

But damn, that Black MacBook did look sweet …

Next time you dine out with someone you know who is a B2B Networker, watch how he or she orders a meal. You will learn a lot about how they make their elevator speeches and networking requests.

I have dined out with several of the attendees from our last Third Thursday. I recall their interactions with waiters and waitresses were also the way many of them made asks of the audience.

One proactive Networker who I frequently dine out with knows exactly what he wants. He also knows what he wanted from the audience. He made a very direct, specific and brief ask. As a result, I saw many people around him after the meeting. Why? If you knew exactly who or what he wanted, then you felt you may have the ability to deliver it.

Another guest who I’ve dined out with in the past is a real meat and potatoes kind of guy. His was of asking I would also describe as very ‘meat and potatoes’ as well. His request was like ordering a meal by the number on the menu - and I think the response he got was straight forward, no frills as well. While he didn’t have as many around him as the first guest, he still had his share of warm conversations after the event.

A third attendee is a sassy lil’ so and so who enjoys a bit of the spotlight. When I’ve dined out with her in the past, our one-liners fly freely. Alas, I had to coach her through the comedy this time. Look at it like ordering your meal. If you give the server too much data, your over easy eggs may come out scrambled.

Then, there was another attendee who really just wouldn’t make their needs known. I found him reminiscent of someone hanging out in the lounge, when what they wanted was to eat. In order to dine off the dinner menu, you need to sit in to the dining room and order. To have people help you when networking, you need to give something that can be served. If you ask for nothing, you will receive nothing everytime.

Let me balance the precise ask for a moment- We’ve all been around those who act like the waitress is a life form less then human, and demands from them exactly what they want with a harsh tone in their voice. You may get it, but I doubt that service comes with much of a smile. When networking, make an ask seem easy and pleasant. I personally enjoy when many attendees are bursting at the seams to get to someone that one specific ask for which the asker is looking. That’s when this b2b networking really works well!

As for me, I am like your typical restaurant server. I am so busy trying to make sure everyone gets seated, ordered, fed and bussed; I forget that I need to be fed as well. I forget to put in my order until after everyone else has been fed, and often when a few of them have left the table. So, I may get a great tip or a mediocre one too..

With so many business professionals using b2b networking, remember that a good networker puts their order in clearly and concisely … with enough detail to be served exactly what they are craving. If not, you may go hungry when standing before you is a banquet of opportunity.

Got a note from an acquaintance who I will call Kimberly We were connected on Facebook. She wrote to tell me she’s given up on social media, and has deactivated her account, along with her MySpace, a couple of groups on Ning, her Twitter, and put her preferences on Flickr and Blog to private.

It was a very personal letter, which surprised me. I confess that I didn’t know her except through her photos and comments. “I have to tell this to you, since you seem to really like this social media, but there is no reason for me to do it any longer.”

She had a few school mates in her friends. She said had maybe a dozen people she really knew as a part of it her lists, but the rest were just friends of friends or people who looked like they might be worth knowing. She said it just seemed like a chore to perpetuate a life that didn’t seem like it was really hers. She said that would post things and write things and try to play the games and be interesting, but it just seemed like it was a two-dimensional stereotype of a life and that this really wasn’t who she was. ”I feel inauthentic when I see pictures of people having their life, but all that I had posted was a few camera phone shots,” said Kimmy.

“I appreciate your attitude Dean,” continued Kimmy, “You seem to be able to be real some days, funny on others, philosophical and spiritual on other days and you and your family have a life worth chronicling.” I appreciated the complements, but I’m as guilty as anyone of posting dribble or using this to promote myself, my career and the things I care about.

I will send Kimberly the link to this, because I doubt she will know that I am thinking about her and her acquaintance. It’s funny that we spend a lot of time around here celebrating the friendships from other avenues of our lives with whom we’ve reconnected. Today, I find I am thinking about a friendship I made here, which has disconnected from the chain.

Good Luck Kimberly with all your ventures, family, personal and professional. I hope you find more fulfillment in all the things you do.

Large media organizations will no longer be submissive in the face of the flat-earthers who insist that all content should be free, according to this Op-Ed piece from Fox Chairman Rupert Murdoch.

From The Harvard Business Review, The All-You-Can-Consume-For-Free Internet Era Is Over, Rupert Murdoch, Oct. 9, 2009.

“Why are you wasting my time and yours with this stuff. My email has enough clutter. Take me off your email.” said the angry response from a realtor to an email for the upcoming Third Thursday.

I understand his frustrations too. I get weird info in my email all the time.  I replied “This is to acknowledge your request and you will be removed from our list within 24 hours.”

But I wanted to say to him, “Next time someone invites you to meeting with all their professional friends and business contacts, I would hope you would give it another look.”

One of the responsibilities I take very seriously is that the people who attend our events don’t want to see the same old faces over and over again. If the room has one third new people, I feel I have done my task. That’s why I invite new people all the time.

Networking is more about planting seeds then harvesting crops. In our busy, message bombarded lives, it takes effort to stay top of mind. That’s one of the benefits of networking.

As soon as I finish this post, I will gladly remove Mr. Realtor from my mailing list. I don’t want any guests to be invited to my event who wouldn’t appreciate the opportunity. I just have a feeling when his pipeline is low, he will do almost anything in his power to make new contacts and learn about new opportunities.

Right now, I’m sure if I have people ready to buy, he will gladly do everything in his power to sell them and take his commission. No amount of networking or relationship building could help this man. He already has all the answers.

I call it organic baseball, growing wild out in my backyard.

12 to 15 young guys from late grade school age through high school have clustered in the open field behind my place to just play baseball - no chalk lines, back stop or bases, no umps or matching uniforms on every kid. Most of all, no helicopter parents lobbying coaches to get their kid more playing time or slathering on SPF 1,800 sunscreen on their cheeks and arms.

I won’t go all field of dreams on you. But I have caught myself watching more then once. In the midst of The Detroit Tigers in their own pennant race, this is the game worth watching.

These are not choir boys. They swear and they dis and they taunt. You hear politically incorrect things I just won’t write here, because they are kids.  They make fun of the obvious and they do silly things too.  Nothing made me laugh quite as much as some sixth grader looking some high school sophomore in the eye after a long pop fly and saying, “you’re out asshole.”  Yet, I seek Black, White and Hispanic kids who are all together with two things in common that unify - a ball and a bat.

There are guys who just barely have the fundamentials and their are others who show some athleticism - but the best thing is that they are out there 100% on their own. They play with a couple of alunimum bats and kids share gloves when they rotate ups. I saw a third grader who was both coaxed and taunted at the same time. When he hit a line shot through the hole between first and second, you knew that was a significant moment in his life.

I also see a few of the local girls checking these guys out. They stand in clusters of three and four and watch and hope to get a stray glance back from the guy over covering third base. It is very much still the adolescent mating ritual here in the New Millennium.

It seems so far removed from the way kids behave today. It just seems rather organic that a bunch of boys would grab a couple of baseballs bats and gloves to go find an open field where the only thing that matters is that time between 4:00 and sunset when the game happens. This is such a throw back to the 1960’s and 1970’s.  Guys just doing something that isn’t micromanaged and mucked up by adults. And, I have yet to see a cell phone, a game-boy or an iPod. I think they would break diving in to second base.

This generation isn’t doomed after all. They are able to figure a good thing out for themselves.

I refuse to give up my responsibility to free thought.

I often hear others express that someone else has presented a seemingly sound opinion, and they chime in ‘Me too.’ I can’t automatically do that. I can’t just repeat the idea that may seem to make sense because of some one’s place of authority, expertise or position of leadership.

I constantly hear other people cloak themselves in their rights. While we all have many basic rights, free thought isn’t a constitutional right buried somewhere in the amendments. It is a real personal responsibility that I accept. It’s a challenge to navigate all the data propelled at me with some degree of personal choice and perspective.

I feel it is my responsibility to think about the things in my world and make a conclusion based upon what the facts are before me and how I think to best proceed. So, I hate to disappoint some religious leaders, politicians, pundits, columnists, gurus, coaches, analysts, psychologists and all realm of other thinkers past and present. But I have my own thinking to do. It is an individual burden that I face each day.

And, I too can feel overwhelmed. There are times I like to be present to the nothingness of it all; since I know that in another time, more thoughts and things to think about will make themselves known to me.

I sense that people who label themselves as being of one thought or movement just naturally oppose the other one, for the sake of opposition. I sense that many of these self labeled people would find a way to oppose a noble act such as curing cancer, because of all the jobs in health care and cancer research and management which would be lost if we found effective ways to stop this. They would say that we are trying to control things for our own best use. But, I’m sure those resources can be diverted to other noble needs.

I also sense that others want or need things to be translated for them. Not from another language in to English, but from sense to sensibility.

It’s also important to know that we are not alone with our thoughts. Knowing the thoughts of others is not wrong, evil or inappropriate, but we can’t seek to live only to fulfill their thoughts. We need to think about them ourselves.

I admit, I often can over think things too. I have to remind myself not to look back to far or think about things for far too long. I have to also remind myself that my thoughts are the unique acreage of my perceptions and beliefs. I can share them, as I am here, but I accept that others have a responsibility to their free thoughts. This includes if they even oppose my idea.

So, you are free to acknowledge and perhaps even like my thoughts. But I would hope that you would recognize your personal responsibilities to accept your thoughts - you are free to do so.

We all have expertise on something. I’m wondering what’s yours … and can you talk about it?

I am assembling 2010’s line up for our Third Thursday events, plus a few other events which we are considering. I am looking for experts in their field of interest  who can share it with a professional audience. You don’t have to be a Michael Wickett or a Shawne Duperon either. In fact, I welcome emerging speakers and presenters.

This is a chance to have your interests known - If you are interested that you send me an email to info@roundtablepanp.com. Tell me what you would want to talk about and give me a couple of reasons why you think this would be of interest to an audience of professional men and women.

I’m really open to hearing from those who could use this platform well. It’s not everyday someone is willing to promote you to a mailing list of over 5K, introduce you to several dozen live friends and associates and produce audio and video product for each of us to distribute.